SLEEP DEPRIVATION + THE STORIES THAT GO WITH IT

Probably the biggest change to bringing home a baby? Sleep. As in, you won’t get any. And it will be fine. Because mamas are given superpowers. One of those superpowers is fully functioning with no sleep. During the first week home I got maaaaaybe four hours of sleep a night. People will advise you to sleep when the baby sleeps. Which is solid advice, except, you have a baby now. Who can sleep when you made a perfect little human (you did that!) to stare at all. day. long? And this is what you will do… all while wondering why you feel great and daddy explains over and over again how tired he is. Superpowers y’all. It eventually catches up with you in the form of hilarious, middle-of-the-night/morning zombie mombie experiences.

Like the times you think you are feeding your baby but she is still crying. Because she is still in her crib. And you never actually got out of bed yet. 

And the time(s) you try to scoop up your husband thinking you are scooping up someone under 10 pounds.

Then there’s that time your husband wakes up to you lifting the body pillow but something doesn’t feel right so you try to explain to him that it must be because your arm isn’t working properly and when he tells you that your arm is fine and your baby is still in the crib you tell him that you know this…duh.

And then, because of the whole ‘arm-not-working’ thing, your husband accompanies you into the nursery to make sure that you think your arm really will work this time now that you are actually going to be lifting the baby. But when you get to the crib the baby is not crying so you ask your husband if she was crying and when he says, “no…” you ask him, “why are we in here then!?” He kisses you goodnight and you both go back to bed.

And you look at the monitor and see this…

Until 20 minutes later when you wake up again because this time she really is crying.